It looks like we might be switching docs again...

Things have been building up to this for months.  My wife's current psychiatrist has been going back to the same medications that have not been working well for months now.  He has increased one medication to more than the maximum dosage for someone her weight and now he says that he does not want to change anything(even though it is not helping). He prescribed a new medication that is not working at all so now after two months and finally being told over and over that her insurance will not cover it he is still saying that he does not want to change anything. Thank God the only thing that is working is her mood stabilizers so she does not get fully manic and crash to her catatonic state.  So Wednesday we have an intake appointment to switch to a new doctor. She has been close to where she would need to go back in to the hospital for a couple of months now.  She has already been in the hospital 4 times so far this year, and each stay has been for about a month at a time. I hope that we can get something figured out soon, I know her insurance company has been saying that the next time she has to go in the hospital they will only cover a longer term stay at our state hospital.  Which that idea is very scary to her, and makes her almost instantly get manic and hysterical which increases her paranoia and delusions.  We only have two atypical anti-psychotic medication left to try so I hope we can get something to work soon.  Please feel free to let me know if you have any advice for us.

Cherish the good days...

This is just my two cents to anyone who is a caregiver for someone with a serious mental illness. Cherish and enjoy the good days when your friend or loved one is doing well. You just never know when things will change and they can change very rapidly. As anyone who is close to someone with bipolar or a Schizophrenic disorder knows all to well. Embrace those days when the bright sunshine pierces through the dark clouds.  Drink in those moments, and be sure to create lasting memories whenever you get the chance. Then those days when the dark clouds billow in, hunker down and weather the storm. This is when you will have to hold on tight to those bright days full of sunshine and happiness. Be sure to never give up and pray continuously for the quick return of those days full of hope and warmth. Most of all even though the depths of the storm seem to swallow up your life and your loved one, when things are at their darkest never let love and compassion be absent in your home and your heart!

Delusional perception???

Delusional perception is a very strange thing to wrap my mind around.  My wife was hearing her delusional thoughts being announced over the intercom when we were at Wal-Mart earlier. She told me that she knew this was a delusion, but she was convinced that she was going to be sent to jail because of the announcements.  I don't understand how at the same time she can have clarity and delusion at the same time.  We called her doctor earlier and He does not want to change any of her medications even though she has been slowly going downhill since she was released after her last hospitalization.  I am wondering about cognitive behavioral therapy, I have heard some people have had good results and some no results.  Please weigh in by leaving your comments below.

Help tear down the stigma, mental illnesses are no different than any other illness or disorder!!

Grasping at straws...

Have you ever felt like your life is a nightmare that you can't wake up from. It has to feel terrible from my wife's point of view. Right now she can only go in public for a short time so it is almost like we are prisoners in our own home. The voices, delusions, paranoia, and anxiety seem to be getting worse.  I am hoping that we will be trying another med that will work for a while. The longest period that we have had a med that worked at all is 10 months. We only have 2 more atypical antipsychotics left to try and her doctor does not want to either med. State hospital has been mentioned a lot lately, I am hoping that we can avoid that option. The other thing that has been mentioned is ECT, and I am wondering if anyone has had good success or not with the newer ECT.

A little background info

This blog is about our everyday struggles as my wife and I try to cope with life.  My wife has been diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder or Paranoid Schizophrenia Bipolar type I.  She has been struggling with this for about 7 1/2 years. Everybody's lives have their ups and downs. No one knows this more so than someone who personally struggles with mental illness or has a friend or family member who struggles with a mental illness. If you don't understand what a life like this would be like. Just imagine for a moment a reality where any day you could wake up and your wife would not recognize you. Imagine that she is running around your house screaming what seems like complete nonsense, she won't listen or respond to you. Imagine that your wife is convinced that you are a voice and a hallucination in her mind, imagine that she is convinced that she is married to someone else. This is a reality that I have woken up to on a couple of  occasions. I wanted to create this blog to encourage others who struggle with serious mental illnesses or their family members are dealing with it. Also I wanted to help people who do not understand people that struggle with mental illness.